December 1, 2004

Disclaimer Envy

Because of this website and its sibling at onhifi.com, I get lots of e-mail -- most of it fodder for Ask Wes. About 80% of it contains a disclaimer after the signature (which I never reprint in the Ask Wes feature). Most of the disclaimers read something like this:

"This e-mail is intended for the addressee shown. It contains information that is confidential and protected from disclosure. Any review, dissemination, or use of this transmission or its contents by persons or unauthorized employees of the intended organizations is strictly prohibited.

"The contents of this e-mail do not necessarily represent the views or policies of [insert business name here], its employees, or students."

Technically, I suppose, I’m not supposed to post those e-mails or answer them publicly -- yet no one has ever complained when I’ve done so.

Putting the legally binding nature of these disclaimers aside for a moment (as I seem to have already done), the bigger question is whether or not the people who send me correspondence really expect me to honor them. Probably not -- I’d bet they don’t even see them any more. They’ve become background noise.

I have to say that I’m getting a serious case of Disclaimer Envy, however. Perhaps I need one of my own. Here’s one I’ve freely adapted from a Web search:

Disclaimer

"I will not generally act on e-mail instructions for the purchase or sale of home-theater gear or take action in respect to system modifications or other component changes. onhometheater.com reserves the right to seek appropriate confirmation before acting on any instructions or requests.

"Requests for payments or delivery of components to third party or amendments to basic review information should be communicated by letter.

"You accept that any instructions are deemed to have been given at the time they are accessed by onhometheater.com. You accept that there may be a delay in processing the instructions received from e-mails after onhometheater.com has received them. You are advised that urgent, time-sensitive, and confidential communications should not be sent by e-mail. You agree that you will not use e-mail correspondence for unlawful purposes or in contravention of laws on electronic communications or data protection.

"You acknowledge that e-mail is not secure and you accept the risk of malfunction, viruses, unauthorized interference, misdelivery, or delay (if, for example, the addressee at onhometheater.com is not available)."

Oh yeah! That’s a good ’un -- and (ha ha!), it’s longer than yours. Nah nah na nah nah!

Of course, it doesn’t make a lot of sense, so maybe I need to keep looking . . .

Now I’ve got it. This one’s a doozy. First off, it says Important Disclaimer, and that’s better than a plain ol’ disclaimer any day. Furthermore, it’s even longer, so it must be better.

Onhometheater.com’s new and improved, comprehensive, and very official . . .

Important Disclaimer: Please Read

Activities and component modifications appearing or described in this publication and its pages may be potentially dangerous. We do not endorse any such activity for others or recommend it to any particular person. We simply describe our experiences and opinions. If you choose to engage in these activities, it is by your own free will and at your own volition. Any and all modifications will probably cause a component or system to behave differently from stock, and some modifications may significantly increase your risk when you watch DVDs or be dangerous in some listening situations. Use your brain and common sense when engaging in any activity or making any modifications. Do not take unwise risks, and always consult a certified professional if you are not sure of something. And kids, don’t try this at home!

Onhometheater.com and the author of these articles assume no liability for how any particular individual chooses to use the information presented here.

Remember: Safety first. Always employ common sense. Never drink and watch -- either in or out of your comfy chair. Never do more than you are comfortable with. Always wear safety belts and use all appropriate safety equipment. Do not audition home-theater components within half an hour of a heavy meal. Look both ways before turning on your monitor. And listen to your teacher, ’cause your teacher is cool.

Copyright © 2004. Onhometheater.com and Schneider Publishing Inc., All Rights Reserved. onhometheater.com is part of the SoundStage! Network group of online publications and websites.

There. That ought to cover everything.

...Wes Phillips
wes@onhometheater.com